Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Baby Time

Before you jump to conclusions, that headline refers to the fact that I somehow got an ear infection for the first time since I was a little kid and it's been getting increasingly painful since Friday. I did get antibiotics and it is finally starting to feel better but either the pain or the association from childhood has made this turn me right into a total baby. Please stand by while I express these feelings.


Yeah that's all the content you're getting today and until this shit stops bothering me. Ear infections suck. Everything's shit.

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Afternoon Announcements

Gonna need to take another week off from blogging. Dunno how much longer we can all go on like this. So tired. Take care of yourselves.

Monday, May 11, 2020

Gif of the Day

I could have sworn I saved the source for this man and his horse dog but I can't find it now oh well.

Work Sucks And We Deserve Better

One of the silver linings to the coronavirus pandemic, by which I mean one of the things that should have happened a long time ago without the push of hundreds of thousands of bodies, is that people are starting to see how much better their lives would be if we change our approach to the idea of work. In the U.S. and many other nations, work has come to mean driving often hours through grueling traffic to go to a job that you often hate or is so exhausting and all-consuming you don't even have the energy to hate it.

That's why it's so baffling and disturbing to see people protesting local shutdowns with signs claiming they want to go back to work. Look, I know some people like their jobs, or at least say they do. But an unreasonable amount of people only tolerate their jobs at best because they feel like they have to. Even those who like their jobs can make a list of all the things they still don't like about work. Nobody likes the commute. Cubicles, offices in rooms with walls, and open floor plans all suck for different reasons. Sitting in one place all day doing the same motions with your hands and wrists or standing and walking all day doing physical labor is ruining our bodies. Customers suck. Meetings suck. Emails suck. Everyone complains about all these things and somehow the only solution we've come up with is "stop complaining about work."

But keeping that shit inside just gives you ulcers or worse. So why don't we just change work if it's so terrible?

In ways I don't yet fully understand, we've all been convinced that this is how work has to be. We have to do it eight hours per day, five days per week or more. Less and you're not working enough and that's bad. If it hurts your body then buy a product to correct it. If you can't afford that, numb the pain. If you can't afford/do that, suffer. 

I don't know why we've done this to ourselves exactly other than something something capitalism but we can change it any time we want. And maybe we finally will. One article I did today for my own work helped me see how many people are finding how much better their lives are without work or with a different form of work. People are saving so much money on gas, tolls, daycare for their kids, and so much time, and they're using that extra time to better themselves. People on this Reddit thread are talking about quitting smoking and working on their mental health and taking huge steps in recovering from eating disorders. They're talking to loved ones and improving their personal relationships.

People are healing without work weighing them down. And what I want people to understand is that we never had to work like this. We certainly don't need to do so in this day and age. We can change it. We can change how we think of work. Instead of it being an inevitable hell we've put ourselves in, work can be self-care. Work can be our hobbies. Work can be no different from play.

I've said before in my diatribes against the modern concept of work that while I say I hate work, I don't hate working. I hate being forced to churn out content for too little pay for hours every weekday just so I can have my own home and buy food. I hate seeing my loved ones have the life drained out of them because their jobs demand so much and give so little in return.

Working on myself? Wonderful, rewarding, hard but so worth it. Working on my writing in the way I want to, without having my creative energies drained for the sake of someone else's profits? Amazing, fun, eye-opening, energizing. Even just doing everyday chores around the apartment that can be boring and tiring? Satisfying, good for mental health, feels great when it's done.

That could be our work, if we wanted.

All of this capitalist work, much of it that doesn't even need to exist or could be done by robots, takes so much away from our ability to do the kind of work that is actually good for us and makes us happy. Let's do better for ourselves. We deserve it.

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Gif of the Day

Party time! Except not because coronavirus and damnit I made myself sad.

Hello I Am Very Angry With Democrats


Remember yesterday when I said I would have to deal with my emotions around Elizabeth Warren's comments on the allegations against Joe Biden? Well today is that day because they are here. I keep getting images in my head of me just smashing up my entire apartment with a baseball bat.

I almost supported her for president. I thought she was better than this. I cheered her on. I defended her even from Bernie supporters, especially when they started calling her a snake for accusing Bernie of misogyny. 

But fuck, maybe they were right. Maybe that was the beginning of a strategy to ditch Bernie and all progressive politics and line up behind Biden. What did they offer you, Liz? Did they threaten to end your career? Or did they just buy you? Bait you with a VP offer? 

This is what I'm talking about:

I think what gets me most is her calling Biden's denials "credible." That's the word you use about the victim's allegations, not the clear sexual predator's uncreative denials. What was it that Biden said that was special or different from any other accused sexual predator?

I just feel utterly betrayed and abandoned by Democrats. I feel like a chump for buying into that "vote blue no matter who" shit and chastising anyone who doesn't want to vote for Democrats. They were right. And it's not just the anarchists and other far-leftists. Democrats have proved Republicans right about them. Republicans said that Democrats would change their tune as soon as one of their leaders was accused, and they were correct. Even those who I thought were the good ones who were really progressive but thought they could work within the system to make it better. Maybe she was even right?

But no. Elizabeth Warren has turned her back on women and survivors, just like the rest of the Democrats. The only exception is Bernie, the one that Democrats always scream is "not a real Democrat." Using that as a criticism never has only gotten more darkly hilarious.

But even he is still supporting Biden. He's still part of the system. He was the compromise candidate and Democrats rejected that compromise wholeheartedly. So.

It's getting harder and harder to see a real difference between Republicans and Democrats. Andrew Cuomo is out there insisting on cutting Medicaid during a plague. Democrats everywhere have shown themselves to be rape apologists. They're supporting a man who has been openly creepy with young women for decades. And if we're being really honest with ourselves, we don't know how Biden or any other Democrat would have handled the pandemic. We don't have tests because the CDC decided it was special, tossed aside the WHO's test and tried to make its own, and fucked it. Would Biden have been able to prevent that?

American exceptionalism is not a uniquely Republican disease.

Hell, if Hillary had won, I don't see how we ever could have dodged war with Iran. Remember when that almost happened? Hillary desperately wanted to invade Iran and that would have been her shot. Then we'd have war and a pandemic, and the Iranian civilians would have been completely and utterly fucked.

Obviously Trump is an intensely awful human being and a shit president. But the last Democrat in the Oval Office was the Deporter-In-Chief and ramped up drone bombings significantly. The one before that was... also a sexual predator, whoops!

Maybe they are just all terrible. And you can yell and scream at me all you want but it's not like these feelings are coming from nowhere. How many times can I be used and betrayed and still be expected to support the Democrats? I'm too busy fighting the urge to become an accelerationist anyway.

I am not okay today, and it's the Democrats' fault.

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Gif of the Day

Me @ the U.S.

Wake Up

Every now and then I think about Rage Against the Machine and how a couple of leftists got together and made amazing revolutionary music calling for people to wake up, literally screaming it again and again at the top of their lungs. Or Zack's lungs, at least. One line that rings in my ears a lot is "what do I got to do to wake you up?" They tried for years as a world famous band and still we're where we're at right now. I get frustrated because I, a fairly unknown writer, have so far failed in my vague quest to find just the right words to do that - to wake people up. I wonder how Zack de la Rocha and Tom Morello must feel, especially finding that asshole like Paul fuckin' Ryan claim to be fans of your music.

Another song that rings in my ears all the time lately is System of a Down's "Dreaming." The refrain "dreaming of screaming" hits me right in the gut every time. 

I would like to scream. I'd like to tear my own guts out and show it to certain people because maybe then they would actually listen.

Ever think about Thích Quảng Đức, the Buddhist monk who set himself on fire in the middle of an intersection in South Vietnam in the 60s? Do you think that unthinkable action, that ultimate form of protest, made anything change for the better?

I'm struggling with my sense of agency, can you tell?

Do you think anything can really get better at this point? Do the ultra-rich few just have too much power? Is the populace too housebroken? There are plenty of valid reasons to be angry with the people "protesting" for the end of pandemic-related closures of non-essential businesses, but what really disturbs me is all the people demanding to go back to work. People are really out there demanding that the government reinstate a system that will force them to go back to their empty, soulless, underpaid, underappreciated, or in the case of many office jobs entirely pointless but no less soul-sucking jobs. They want to go back to a world where their lives revolve around that shit. 

Housebroken is really an apt term for these people. And it makes me sad. What makes me want to scream is the woman holding up a sign with the slogan from the gates of fucking Auschwitz, "Arbeit macht frei." It means "work will set you free" and it was the slogan of the world's most famous nazi death camp.

Work will set you free. As big of a lie then as it is now.

I was taught that the U.S. government didn't know about the nazi death camps until the end of the war. Also a lie.

I've struggled with feeling like I'm trapped for years now, so I'm pretty used to it, but if I'm honest with myself I think the pandemic has made it worse. I wanted revolution but rioting would be so irresponsible right now, and that thought makes me want to laugh until I suffocate.

They want to reopen America. And so many of us are sitting at home just staring into the future like it's a runaway freight train barreling right at us, and we're stuck in the train tracks. Or maybe tied to them is a better metaphor. Either way, we all know that thousands more people will die from COVID-19 than ever needed to. But it doesn't matter. Republicans will do what they want, and the rest of us will have to live with the consequences. Sometimes this doesn't feel much different from living under a dictatorship, except at least in a dictatorship you don't have people pretending to be on your side screaming at you that you'd better vote a different white conservative rapist in because they think that will make it all better.

Elizabeth Warren's calling Joe Biden's denial of the sexual assault allegation "credible" was devastating. I'll have to deal with those feelings soon.

I'm just trying to go on, hoping for something real to happen. I don't actually want to have to set myself on fire.

How much longer can this go on?

Monday, May 4, 2020

Friday, May 1, 2020

Gif of the Day


For The Funsies

Whew, it was a bit of a struggle to make it to the end of this week, but I did it. I'm so pleased that I'm just going to share this amazing TikTok account I wrote about today because it has brought me so much joy and it's just pure fun and don't we all need some of that?

@heyberg Follow for REAL PRANK CALLS (COMING SOON) ##fyp ##foryou ##foryoupage ##voiceimpression ##impressionsguy ##impressionchallenge ##showerthoughts ##lmao
♬ original sound - heyberg

This guy has 36 videos and most of them are just like this. You're welcome.