Wednesday, February 5, 2020

On The Iowa Caucus, SOTU, And Impeachment Vote

Wow it's been quite a week, huh? What do you mean it's only Wednesday?


I was so surprisingly nervous about the Iowa caucuses that I actually had live news on YouTube while I played Stardew Valley, so I was able to watch the panic slowly grow in the eyes of reporters as they tried to fill air time while the results continued to not come in. The best parts were when they would interrupt some bullshit with a BREAKING NEWS ALERT to confirm that there were still 0% results because something had gone wrong but they didn't really know what exactly, back to you.

I know there are a lot of conspiracy theories, or maybe just one basic theory with slightly different versions, and I've seen a lot of people yelling on Twitter that people shouldn't engage in that, but honestly, the democrats have earned this. You can't buy an app from a company literally called Shadow Inc. and be surprised when people become suspicious when it doesn't work for a very important vote. I'm not gonna lie, there's a voice in my head that remembers what happened at the caucuses in 2016 and is loudly speculating on how interesting it is that Pete Buttigieg did so well, narrowly passing the candidate that the establishment hates the most.

Don't blame me, blame the fuckers who want to run the country.

My feelings about Buttigieg are mixed. He's obviously too moderate for me, but part of me is just so happy that Joe Biden did so badly. But another part of me is sure that if Pete gets it, he'll shift right over to Joe Biden's realm of politics. He's definitely going to owe some of the people who own those wine caves, so that's not great.

But, you know, it would be pretty sweet having a gay president after Vice President Mike Pence.

Then again, could he beat Trump? Even putting all homophobia aside, which isn't easy, I don't know if he could.

One thing is for sure. You should always, always, ALWAYS STRESS TEST YOUR FUCKING APPS BEFORE DEPLOYING THEM FOR DEMOCRACY.

As for the State of the Union address, I didn't watch it and I don't want to know what he said. I don't think Nancy Pelosi is some kind of national hero for tearing a piece of paper in half, but I'm glad she did it because fuck Donald Trump. Also he snubbed her handshake and generally fuck all the nerds whining about how un-civil it is to rip a piece of paper when Trump threw a ton of little children in cages and is a serial rapist. I also honestly liked Pelosi's response of "I wanted to do something worse" to all the complaining.

Finally, the Senate impeachment vote. Extremely predictable/inevitable, yet still oddly depressing. Also not really impressed by Mitt's vote to convict but also, oddly, I'm a little nervous for him and his big Mormon family? I know I shouldn't be because all the privilege but if anybody was going to put a hit out on Romney, it's this president.

So those are my feelings on all the shit that's happened in the last three days. I'm tired now.

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