Friday, January 3, 2020

What You Need To Know About The Upcoming War With Iran

So this is happening.

The first thing you should know is that in spite of trending hashtags, this is very unlikely to be World War III. It's much more likely to be the Iraq War Part 2, or, more accurately, a simple continuation of the never-ending wars in the Middle East demanded by the endless maw that is the military-industrial complex, which owns the United States of America.

You won't be drafted. That would be massively unpopular. Wars are not like they used to be.

Here's what is likely to happen:

  • Many thousands of Iranians will be killed, mostly civilians.
  • Millions will be displaced, lose their homes, and have their lives thrown to absolute shit.
  • Some U.S. soldiers will be killed, others will commit war crimes only to be pardoned by Trump if they're punished at all.
  • Hollywood will make shitty, masturbatory movies about it in 5-10 years.
  • Incalculable effects to a climate that is currently burning down the entire continent of Australia.

Why did this happen? It has little if anything to do with the actions of the man we assassinated. It was almost certainly a ploy by Trump and his supporting Republicans to create more support for him in the months leading up to the 2020 election. You can tell because theRE'S A TWEET.

Actually there's like four tweets this time.

Much of the mainstream media which is supposed to be critical of Trump is playing right into his hands, like CNN calling Qasem Soleimani the world's #1 bad guy when none of us knew his name 24 hours ago. He was a convenient target and they took the opportunity.

Will there be a retaliatory attack on U.S. soil? I'm not sure about that, but I'm pretty sure it would be very difficult for Iran to pull off. Any attacks are likely to be tiny in scale compared to what we will do to them. But anything that does happen will be used to drum up more support for Trump.

Another thing we can expect is increased violence toward Muslim individuals in the U.S. and abroad. Keep an eye out for bullshit and be prepared to stand up for your Muslim neighbors. We may also need to prepare for accusations of antisemitism if you don't support the U.S. slaughtering many thousands of Iranians for political points and oil.

It's another year in the United Shits of America.

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