So the Daily Mail apparently reported yesterday on some company literally called StandardToilet, but the toilet they've dreamed up is not exactly standard. I hate the Daily Mail, but luckily Geek.com had a hilarious take on it.
We Must Fight Back Against This Awful Office Efficiency Toilet
As reported by Daily Mail, the group (hilariously backed by the British Toilet Association) is deeply concerned about the lost money and productivity that comes from workers, you know, needing to take breaks every so often. After all, the greatest “problem” for capitalism to solve is nullifying the pesky inefficient humanity of humans in the never-ending pursuit of profit. You won’t see this toilet in executives suites.
The toilet is not in production yet, but are you ready for the concept art?
BREAKING NEWS: Say goodbye to comfort breaks! New downward-tilting toilets are designed to become unbearable to sit on after five minutes. They say the main benefit is to employees in improved employee productivity. pic.twitter.com/lfDbeXJdCX— Dave Vescio (@DaveVescio) December 17, 2019
Are we absolutely sure that capitalism is the best we can do as a species? Really?
All joking aside, this hell john is absolutely coming to a workplace to you unless we abolish capitalism or society collapses first. Remember, capitalism can only function if profits keep improving, and they're definitely running out of ideas.