Thursday, October 31, 2019

Gif of the Day


Happy Halloween!

I'm feeling better today but it's also a high holiday so no way you're getting a full blog post today. But you can have an extra Halloween-themed gif.

You're welcome. Have some fun tonight!

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Gif of the Day

This just has incredible reaction gif potential.

Burn, Reagan, Burn

I'm kinda depressed today so I was just scrolling through Twitter hoping to find a good tweet I could post here without much effort and I found it.


Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Gif of the Day


Feels Update

I had some more important revelations over the weekend and the picture of what's been going on with me is becoming clear. I think my indecision and anxiety over what to do with my spare time is a reflection of not knowing what to do about all the worst parts of the society I live in.

I know what needs to be done about climate change, but how the fuck do I go about convincing the people in charge to shut down all the big corporations and the U.S. military? I absolutely know we need to shut down the concentration camps and eventually all prisons, but we got multiple Democrats to tour the migrant concentration camps and everyone freaked out about it for a while and then what? Nothing happened.

The best I could probably do is to join local organizations that work to stop all or some of this evil shit, but I tried that and my social anxiety and general mental illness made that so difficult and I kept failing to go to meetings and sending myself into shame spirals over it. Then the one organization I was really close to joining shut down because the leader of the whole thing turned out to be a fucking sexual predator and the leadership was generally racist.

I have a terrifying sense of urgency butting up against a massive sense of despair. Even if I did manage to join some organization and do some thing, it feels like it won't be enough to stop mass suffering and death. Inaction on climate change continues. Fascism continues to grow. I get that sense of urgency and start trying to think of ways to fight back but anything I can come up with feels useless. The only actions that would be effective have to happen on a mass scale, but trying to get your average U.S. resident to get over the idea that rioting is as bad as murder and the only acceptable way to protest is to stand on a sidewalk with some clever signs feels im-poss-i-ble.

And that mindfuck has leaked into my everyday life. What is the thing I want to do the most? What is the best way to spend my limited time? What if I choose wrong and I'm wasting my time? AHHHHHHHHHH.

This added to the guilt around my inaction creates a breeding ground for anxiety and depression, which makes doing anything hard.

Should I use mass amounts of energy getting over all the anxiety hurdles to go to a meeting of my local Extinction Rebellion chapter when they're too pathetically small to do much of anything here and have also dedicated themselves to being toothless anyway? Even if I did find something good to join, would my awkward, silent presence be of any help at all?

It doesn't help that any decent activist organizations are all located in Seattle, where I can't afford to live.

There are things I could do from home to help but any commitment to that kind of shit sounds like it would become overwhelming in a minute, especially since I have such a hard time saying no and setting boundaries, and then I'm right back to feeling like shit for not doing enough.

I want my spare time to actually be relaxing and restful so that I can have the energy to do something, but it's not because even when I have nothing I need to do and no commitments, I feel anxious and guilty. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted.

All of this also explains my sudden fascination with medieval-type history and fiction. I'm desperate for something simple. Part of me longs for my world to be small and straightforward. And I definitely, like everyone else, love stories like Lord of the Rings because the problem is obvious and the solution is clear. If I could take a really long walk to drop some jewelry into some lava to save the world, I would totally sign up for that.

But it's not even close to that simple. I still don't know if Donald Trump is pure evil on his own or more of an ignorant puppet. There is no fellowship of odd warriors I can travel with to bring down the concentration camps, and even if I tried, I would be painted as evil for trying to hurt the innocent concentration camp guards and thrown into a horrific prison where I would probably die.

It sucks. It sucks being a small, largely powerless individual living a huge and hugely unjust world in which the powerful have made any effective act of resistance illegal or just impossible. I didn't ask for these anxiety disorders either, but our society gave them to me anyway.

So. My goal is to continue as I have been, focusing on improving my mental health as well as I can, and eventually start volunteering with Food Not Bombs to help feed my neighbors. I feel like that's the best I can do until things really start to go to shit and the mass protests begin where I am, which they will unless things magically reverse course, which seems very unlikely. I'm going to try to let go of the hero fantasies and realize that I'm just a normal human being with average limitations. Maybe someday I can do even better, but I only know who I am now.


Monday, October 28, 2019

Gif of the Day

It's crab time.

Katie Hill And Double Standards


You might have heard of Representative Katie Hill, one of the first openly bisexual members of Congress who has now resigned, and the allegations of relationships with staffers and others she probably should have had relationships with due to power imbalances. These allegations came to light in the worse way possible, via revenge porn sent to the fucking Daily Mail by her abusive ex-husband. The Daily Mail, being the trash rag it is, published the photos and made a big deal about her being naked and having sex sometimes and smoking weed from a bong, possibly on 9/11.

Congress members and others with large amounts of political power having sexual relationships with staffers is a problem. It is something that should be forbidden and punished when it happens. Katie Hill's decision to resign is the right one - or it would be in a just world.

Instead, we're living in a world in which literally hundreds of women have accused the sitting President of sexual harassment, sexual assault, and/or rape. We're living in a world where we still don't have laws punishing revenge porn or "news" outlets that facilitate revenge porn under the guise of journalism. We're living in a world in which a straight man can be photographed sexual assaulting a woman and resign and everyone freaks out about it to the point of tanking a good candidate's run for President and there's a massive debate over whether Democrats should be held to higher standards than Republicans when it comes to sexual assault.

But a woman? Who's BISEXUAL? No debate, no freaking out, she's gone, nobody even cares, bye.

Maybe it's because she didn't have a comedy career before getting into politics? But I doubt it.

Meanwhile, survivors have to put up with all of this shit.

Katie Hill did something wrong. She also apparently has an iron cross tattoo which is concerning but not automatically a hate/nazi symbol and likely just an ignorant mistake but still gross and she should get rid of it. She did the right thing by resigning.

But the double standards here are massive and loud and pissing me the fuck off. The public seems really happy to kick a bisexual woman out of office while I still occasionally see liberals defending Al Franken and while a serial sexual predator is still fucking President. And all of this happened because of an abuser engaging in revenge porn and people give a fuck that anyone smoked from a bong on 9/11.

There is no justice here.

Thursday, October 24, 2019

Gif of the Day

There was just something so funny about the butt movements of the guy trapped in the guillotine, when I first saw it I thought it was the more hilarious thing ever. Was I high? Probably.

This Is Exactly Why We Need To Abolish ICE


This story is absolutely devastating and triggering as fuck but I wrote about it for work today because people need to know. I'm not going to type out the details again so here I go promoting my paid work on my blog I guess whatever:

Lawsuit: ICE Agent Raped, Impregnated A Honduran Immigrant Multiple Times Over 7 Years

What I couldn't write in that article is that this shows exactly why ICE needs to fucking go. Also, all police need to go, because cops do this shit all the time. There is zero chance that the woman in the story is the only one with a story like this. Meanwhile, normal police do the same thing all the time to vulnerable populations, particularly full-service sex workers.

When you offer up a position of near ultimate power over someone's life - the power to deport them and their families, the power to jail them any time they feel like - this is what happens. This is why the institution that is the police needs to be abolished. This will always happen because predators and rapists like Rodriguez will always be attracted to the position and no psychological test will be able to keep all of them out, even if police departments really tried.

We could at least start by abolishing ICE, which has only existed since 2003 and is like the regular police only there's a special incentive for anti-immigrant racists specifically to join up and has ended up building FUCKING CONCENTRATION CAMPS.

Make this horror story stop.

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Guest Post: Little-Discussed Ways Disability Impacts People

Kate Harveston is a political writer from Pennsylvania. Her favorite topics are feminist-focused, but she writes on a wide variety of social and cultural issues. If you enjoy her work, you can follow her on Twitter or visit her blog, Only Slightly Biased.

People with disabilities often hesitate to discuss the way their conditions impact their lives. They may be reticent to discuss their problems with their closest friends and relatives out of fear of burdening them. Often, they also stay quiet at work out of fear of discrimination and repercussion.

We need to break the silence surrounding the struggles of those with disabilities. If businesses want to become truly inclusive, they need to implement policies that benefit all employees, including those with invisible challenges. Meaningful political change can only occur when those muted have their voices heard and their needs respected. 
1. Lack of Financial Security
Consider this — one in 10 American women experience endometriosis at some point during her childbearing years. However, it can take years to get a diagnosis, likely because doctors take women's pain less seriously than men's. 
If it takes so long to get a determination on a common disorder, how many visits does it take to discover a rare condition, like poly-orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS)? During this time, a woman must call in sick and lose income — possibly her job — over absenteeism.
Even common disabilities lead to difficulty maintaining employment. If you suffer hearing impairment, for example, you may struggle to understand spoken directions at the office. Difficulty hearing can lead to mistakes that can result in potential termination if a lack of understanding exists. 
When you struggle to keep a job, you’ll likely burn through emergency funds like water. You end up maxing out credit cards and taking early withdrawals from retirement funds. Consider that roughly 28% of adults in the U.S. have no emergency funds. Imagine the extent to which disabled individuals struggle when it comes to employment. 
2. No Universal Health Care
The U.S. stands alone among developed nations in not guaranteeing health insurance coverage as a right — and this hurts the disabled the most. You need a job to gain coverage. If you can't find or handle full-time employment, you're out of luck. Plus, fewer and fewer employers offer quality benefits. 
Consider the fact that 81% of people with intellectual disabilities work in sheltered environments. These arrangements generally pay a fraction of the minimum wage. When they graduate from these programs, attendees often take other low-wage jobs with little to no health insurance benefits. 
If they earn little enough to qualify for Medicaid, they can access the treatments needed to retain the ability to work. If they get a raise, however, they may lose coverage and find affording needed medications and doctor visits impossible. See the inherent trickery?
3. A New Gig Economy 
Further compounding the health insurance issue is the rise of the gig economy. By their nature, independent contractors receive no benefits, including insurance or unemployment compensation. Considering that four out of five Americans live paycheck to paycheck, an unexpected loss of income due to illness or absenteeism can quickly leave disabled individuals out on the street.
4. A Place of Isolation 
Living with a disability usually means making many necessary adaptations. However, doing so often takes much of the energy the affected individual possesses. If they're working, making it to Friday happy hour could seem like rolling a boulder up Mt. Everest. 
Finding a wheelchair-accessible bus to attend a doctor's appointment can take monumental effort. People with disabilities might decline social invitations, even if they want to attend. Over time, friends may then stop calling, which creates loneliness and isolation among disabled individuals.
5. A Constant Struggle 
Colleges built before the early 90s don't need to include wheelchair ramps until they undergo major renovations. Someone who uses mobility aids can sign up for classes at an Ivy-League school. However, they may arrive to discover they can't even get inside the building.
Many customer support lines only offer help via telephone. While telecommunication devices for the deaf (TDD) exist, they don't aid those who struggle to speak. Unless text support is available, they have to find someone else to make the call.
6. Daily Societal Bias
Those with disabilities hear ridiculous things all the time. For example, that they “get to lie in bed all day.” People inundate them with yoga positions, herbs and supplements they can take to feel better magically. 
The truth is, many conditions aren't curable with diet and exercise. You can't reverse a traumatic brain injury with the power of positive thinking. If you love a member of the community, think twice about what you say. Your words may be innocent, but to someone with a disability, they can cut like the proverbial knife. 
7. A Full-Time Job 
How often do you visit the doctor? If you're like most non-disabled people, probably once a year or when you feel sick. 
When you're disabled, visiting your physician and maintaining a healthy regimen is a full-time job. Those who work often use paid time off running from one specialist to the next. The first goal is to secure a diagnosis, then a cure. 
Those who can no longer perform daily work functions have to arrange for transportation to and from maintenance visits. It's exhausting. These people need a vacation more than anybody, but often lack the time off or stable financial situations to take one.
Break the Silence Surrounding Disability 
People with disabilities remain silent for many reasons. They may fear repercussions at work. Others don't want to “burden” others with their worries. 
I can say from experience that living with an invisible condition is debilitating beyond what words can say. You can lose friendships, career opportunities and nights upon nights of sleep. Sometimes you’ll look around at your friends who live pain-free lives and wonder what you did wrong to deserve missing out on your own life, as you watch it pass by in the rearview mirror on your way to yet another doctor’s appointment. 
Everyone has their struggles, and this isn’t meant as a “why me?” essay. Because, really, why anyone? Life is simply unfair, and I’ve come to accept that. Rather, I want those who are healthy to make an effort to understand and sympathize with the disabled community better. If you're healthy, give someone you know who struggles with a disability a hug. Then, speak out and serve as a voice for those in need.

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Gif of the Day

This is going around thanks to the news of the huge Meowth in the new Pokemon games. Don't know why it's glitching.

Feels Update

Nothing really struck me with inspiration to blog today, not that shit's not going down, but whatever I'm gonna talk about how I've been doing.

I feel like things are starting to basically go back to normal, except with me being more social and going on more walks. Thinking about playing video games still brings up a weird anxiety, but it seems to be overall gradually going away. Sometimes it feels like my emotional walls pop back up and I get all tense inside and get stomach pains even (literally this happens when I suppress my emotions too much). But right now I think I'm allowing myself to feel and thinking about what I'll do with the rest of the day is only bringing up a faint bit of anxiety.

I also came up with a metaphor about life and mental illness that involves video games, so buckle up. Sometimes I can get so down when it seems like progress on life and mental health is so slow, and sometimes I even take steps back. It's frustrating and it aggravates my fear of wasting my time and that things will never really get better. But then I remembered how I'm one of those people who, when faced with a boss I'm really not up to level for, I will just keep trying over and over again because I know that eventually (unless I'm WAY out of my league), a combination of the skill gained from numerous attempts and luck will combine to bring me victory.

Sometimes when the boss is really hard, I'll get frustrated and feel like I'm wasting my time. But when it comes to video games, it's easy to remember that every attempt is a step toward winning. Even when an attempt goes worse than the one before it, I know I'm learning and getting closer to that time when I'll get enough luck and skill together to beat the boss.

I just need to translate that to real life. Mental illness and climate change fears aren't exactly like video game bosses, but the point is that even steps backward are a part of progress.

It's still hard to feel so uncertain of the future. I still struggle a lot with guilt. But I even think I'm feeling physically better. For a while I was feeling really tired a lot of the time and I was worried something was physically wrong with me, but it might have just been the tiring emotions I was experiencing. Anxiety and depression really drain you.

It's a really strange time to live in. I still think a lot about the meaning of existence. I still feel like I should be doing so much more to help/prepare for possible bad times ahead but it's hard. Preparing for doomsday doesn't sound fun at all. Also I'm gonna feel really silly if it wasn't necessary. But also I feel silly for worrying about feeling silly. Welcome to my brain.

One thing I did do was finally launch a Discord server as a support group for climate-related anxiety and grief. I've been promoting it on my Tumblr account and so far a few people have joined and there have already been good discussions! If you want to join, this link is set to never expire. I think most people who read this already follow me on Tumblr but whatevs, the more the merrier.

I really hope there's something beyond this mortal existence. I don't talk about spiritual shit a whole lot but at this point in my life I'd be pissed if it's just this and then eternal oblivion. Anyway, have a good Tuesday.

Monday, October 21, 2019

Gif of the Day

It's almost Halloween.

Happy Asexual Awareness Week!

In a move that I was somehow entirely unaware of until the good ace people of Tumblr started spreading it around, Washington State Governor Jay Inslee officially declared this week to be Asexual Awareness Week in the state by signing a proclamation on the 15th.

Check it out:

click to enlarge

Here's the full text, provided by Seattle Aces & Aros, who deserve much/all of the credit for this:

The State of Washington
WHEREAS asexuality is an often unknown and misunderstood sexual orientation; and
WHEREAS people who are asexual but have not heard of asexuality may often feel confused, discouraged, and lonely; and
WHEREAS discovering asexuality can be an affirming, positive, life-changing experience; and
WHEREAS the goal of Asexual Awareness Week is to promote education and understanding about asexuality; and
WHEREAS there are estimated to be at least 70,000 openly identified asexual people in the State of Washington; and
WHEREAS the inclusive and diverse State of Washington is proud to be at the forefront of LGBTQIA+ recognition and acceptance;
NOW, THEREFORE, I, Jay Inslee, Governor of the state of Washington, do hereby proclaim October 20-26, 2019, as
Asexual Awareness Week
in Washington, and I encourage all people in our state to join me in this special observance.
Signed this 15th day of October, 2019
Governor Jay Inslee

Inslee is right in that many people are still entirely unaware of ace and aro people or woefully misinformed on the orientations. The biggest thing people seem to struggle with is grasping the difference between desiring any kind of sexual activity and experiencing sexual attraction. Ace people aren't people who just "don't want to fuck" and aro people aren't people who want to fuck without committing to a relationship.

It's unfortunately necessary to repeatedly remind all readers that this blog is 100% ace/aro inclusive and people who would exclude these lovely folks from LGBTQ+ spaces suck and aren't welcome here.

I love all my ace/aro siblings!

Friday, October 18, 2019

Gif of the Day

And now back to your regularly scheduled internetting.

Asylum Seekers In ICE Detention Planning Mass Suicide


So, the thing I feared would happen happened. We stopped talking about the concentration camps. They absolutely still exist. A couple were closed down as far as I've heard but there are still dozens across the country and people are still dying in them. I don't know that much if anything was done about the conditions in the facilities visited by liberal politicians months ago. The news on them has dried up, at least in mainstream outlets.

Maybe it's just inevitable. How long can humans keep looking at something so horrible before they can't stand it anymore? Focusing so much on these atrocities was absolutely hard on my mental health. As much as I wanted to keep writing about concentration camps, yelling about them, reminding people daily of their existence, I stopped. I was overwhelmed by feeling helpless, like I should just say "fuck it" and spend all my money to travel somewhere, risk arrest by, doing what? Attacking the facility? Protesting peacefully even though I know it wouldn't do anything?

The fact is that until we can get mass amounts of people to march on the camps, closing them will be at best a slow process and more will be built as long as Trump is in office. I was unable to rile up enough people. We all failed to capitalize on the temporary public attention and outrage. I don't know what to say.

One thing I can do now, today, is to remind you once again that these human atrocities never went away. Things haven't gotten better, and now it's so bad that detainees are planning a mass suicide. Two have already attempted, and one man has died by suicide in detention.

BREAKING: Two asylees attempt suicide, others threaten mass action in New Mexico ICE detention facility

This week, two Cuban asylum seekers detained at the Otero County Processing Center (OCPC) slit their wrists and at least 19 others are planning on doing so in an act of mass resistance. Conditions and rights violations at OCPC have become so untenable that many view this drastic step as their only option to bring about change. The two men are in medical care, others have been placed in solitary confinement, and the situation is escalating.

A judge ruled that ICE needed to start releasing asylum seekers on parole while their cases were pending again, as they did pre-Trump, but since that ruling over a year ago, ICE has defied the judge by keeping these refugees detained for many months.

People are about to die. One already has.

The news of potential suicide attempts from Cuban asylum seekers comes the same week as Roylan Hernandez-Diaz, a 43-year-old asylum seeker from Cuba, died of an apparent suicide at the Richwood Correctional Center in Louisiana. As reported in Buzzfeed News, his widow claims he had just begun a hunger strike after passing his credible fear interview, then having his request to be paroled — released to his wife — denied.

I know a lot of shit is happening and it's so hard to look at this but please, at least spread this on social media. Human beings are ready to kill themselves en masse if we don't help them.

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Gif of the Day

Don't fuck with Khajiit, big lizard.

"Fuck Work" Said The Medieval Peasant

I'm never gonna stop randomly reminding you that you shouldn't be working as much as the capitalists are making you work. This is an article for 2016 but I came across it again on Tumblr and I think you should know.

The average American worker takes less vacation time than a medieval peasant

Seriously, read the whole article and be angry.

The Church, mindful of how to keep a population from rebelling, enforced frequent mandatory holidays. Weddings, wakes, and births might mean a week off quaffing ale to celebrate, and when wandering jugglers or sporting events came to town, the peasant expected time off for entertainment. There were labor-free Sundays, and when the plowing and harvesting seasons were over, the peasant got time to rest, too. 
In fact, economist Juliet Shor found that during periods of particularly high wages, such as 14th-century England, peasants might put in no more than 150 days a year. As for the modern American worker? After a year on the job, she gets an average of eight vacation days annually.

Nearly half the fucking year off. And this is from Business Insider. I also see that use of "she" there, Lynn, and I appreciate you.

And the really ridiculous thing is that all this work kills productivity and doesn't increase long-term profits. But capitalism lives on short-term profit bursts that get the few very at the very top make a shit ton of money before they get out.

The rest of us pay the price.

According to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) the Greeks, who face a horrible economy, work more hours than any other Europeans. In Germany, an economic powerhouse, workers rank second to last in number of hours worked. Despite more time off, German workers are the eighth most productive in Europe, while the long-toiling Greeks rank 24 out of 25 in productivity. 
Beyond burnout, vanishing vacations make our relationships with families and friends suffer. Our health is deteriorating: depression and higher risk of death are among the outcomes for our no-vacation nation.

Stop feeling like a bad person for not wanting to work yourself to an early grave. Start holding capitalists accountable for killing the rest of us with unnecessary work. Don't let them convince you that not wanting to do an unnatural, unhealthy amount of work is a personal or moral failing. Do start leaving images of guillotines in the break room. 

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Joe Biden Put His Sexism On Full Display During Debate

The debate last night was, for the most part, kind of dull and frustrating. A lot of the same questions were asked on the same subjects as though neither moderators nor candidates had learned anything in the past few weeks, especially on the issue of Medicare for All. You know, hOw WiLl YoU pAy FoR iT??

Then it ended with a ridiculous question about "friendship" that was a clear nod to the Ellen Degeneres/George W. Bush bullshit but didn't have time for questions on racism or climate change.

But the worse part by far was when Joe Biden snapped at Liz, yelling at her while attempting to take credit for her accomplishments.

Warren's reaction hit me deep right in a wound carried by so many women who have been screamed at by angry, entitled men.

Maybe I'm projecting, but I swear I can see a pain in Warren's eyes and hear it in her voice.

Apparently, Joe thought she as referencing him when she said "I had an idea for a consumer agency that would keep giant banks from cheating people, and all of the Washington insiders and strategic geniuses said ‘don’t even try because you will never get it passed.'"

From that and from context you could infer that Joe might be one of those Washington insiders, but he erased any doubt with his reaction. "I got votes for that bill." Yeah, that was your fucking job as Vice President. To get votes for bills that your party wanted to pass. But Liz did all the rest of the work in creating an entire new government bureau, which can not be easy.

Biden's sexism, which liberal men continue to try and excuse as a product of his time or just something we have to put up with, has real consequences and they were on full display last night. Biden tried to steal credit from Warren and yelled at her with aggressive hand gestures on stage while she was trying to make the case for why she should be the first female President in U.S. history. And every woman who has ever had a man take credit for her ideas/work and/or yell at her in a meeting had a flashback at that moment.

Liz, of course, had the perfect response, thanking Obama for his help rather than Biden. This suggests that Biden really wasn't much help and is also a jab at Biden constantly referencing his black friend for political points. But even as Joe and the audience laughed, you could see the pain on Warren's face. And then, Joe Biden made it somehow worse by INTERRUPTING Warren to say "you did a hell of a job in your job."

This to me says "stay in your place." It's one of those gross, backhanded "compliments" men toss at you after doing shit like taking credit for your work and you get angry about it. "You did a hell of a job at your job, now leave the rest to me, the man, even though you did all the legwork and I did the bare minimum of what is exactly my job."

And I again see the pause, the wheels turning in her head, and that pained tone as she said "thank you." Because she had to, right? Or she's a bitch.

And in the following words, that strain remains for a little while. But then she laid out exactly why she is the kind of progressive candidate we need, saying "no" to little, inconsequential, inoffensive to the rich and powerful establishment changes and going for something that actually helps the rest of us.

Fuck you, Joe Biden. If he gets the nomination I may give up on politics entirely. He was only made VP to appease moderate Dems and try to calm down the racists a bit after Obama was nominated. He doesn't deserve to be President while stronger women with better ideas exist. And there are plenty of them.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Gif of the Day

When you make eye contact with the asshole who kicked you off the bed because you wouldn't stop washing yourself in the middle of the night.

Live Tweeting Tonight's Democratic Debate

I missed the last one and I think the one before that I didn't really bother to live-tweet because it was like night two and who cares, but I'm going to another watch party tonight and I need a nap before that so I'm just gonna live-tweet that for content today. Let's see what new cracks on Donald Trump these candidates can get in with all the shit that has gone down in just the past couple of days.

Should be fun. See you there maybe.

Monday, October 14, 2019

Gif of the Day

Thank you, Janet.

Happy Indigenous People's Day!

Today is Indigenous People's Day in the city of Seattle and probably other places. We should all know by now that Columbus was a genocidal fuck who should be remembered alongside other genocidal fucks as history's greatest monsters and not have a Day named after him. With that over, here are some great ways you can stand with your local Native communities if you are white or generally not Native!

Someone made (and is still working on) an interactive map you can use to see whose tribal land you're living on if you live in the U.S. or other colonized countries. For example, I live just north of what is/should be the Duwamish border, on Puget Sound Salish/Snohomish land. The map includes a disclaimer that the borders may not be perfect and may not represent the real borders of indigenous tribes, and that local tribes should be contacted for official information on whose land you're living on.

It may be helpful for general educational purposes, and it's also nice to know which tribe you might support with your time, labor, and/or money while you're benefiting from living on their land. The Duwamish tribe, whose borders include Seattle, even has a "real rent" program that asks non-Native people living on their land to set up monthly recurring donations to the Duwamish Tribal Services. That way, it's like you're paying rent to them instead of your probably white landlords or to nobody if you own a home.

The difference is that it's voluntary and the Duwamish tribe simply encourages people to donate what they can based on their unique financial situation. So far, 2848 people in the Seattle area are Real Renters, which is great! I'm pretty sure that's up a good number from the last time I posted about Real Rent.

And, as always, please remind people not to appropriate indigenous cultures on Halloween. Just be Batman.

Friday, October 11, 2019

Gif of the Day


Happy Friday

My current freelance situation allows me to enjoy the classic type of weekend that is Saturday and Sunday off and today I am very much eager to start fuckin' relaxing so your blog content today is going to be limited to a video of a bunch of burned MAGA hats with a "fuck Trump" sign on it and people chanting "Fuck Donald Trump" in a tweet made by some loser complaining about intolerance against hats.


Thursday, October 10, 2019

Gif of the Day


The Rich Have Class Unity, Do You?

You've probably heard of the controversy around Ellen Degeneres being buddies with George W. Bush after they were spotted sitting together at a sports game, smiling and chatting with each other. After the initial backlash, Ellen made things worse by going on her show and announcing to the world that she is indeed friends with the war criminal, chiding people for being upset about that, and for some reason comparing him to a furry.

Seriously, she said that she's also friends with other people she "disagrees" with, including furries and people she thinks should tweeze more.

Look. I understand having to interact with people who hold reprehensible beliefs and not having the courage or energy to be like "hey so why are you such a bad person." I could have even forgiven Ellen if she had apologized to all the queer people that George W. Bush hurt with his attempts to solidify homophobia into the U.S. Constitution who are also fans of the very lesbian Ellen, even though she 100% had the option of politely excusing herself and taking the fuck off in her private jet I'm sure she has.

But her monologue repeating the utterly exhausting and old "it's nice to be friends with people who have different opinions than you and I can't differentiate between opinions and actions that lead to the deaths of millions of civilians for some reason" argument was the final nail in her jewel-encrusted coffin.

There's really nothing new I can say about the general argument. There is a place for people who choose to continue friendships or even build friendships with people who have problematic or downright bigoted beliefs and "opinions" in an effort to guide them toward the light. But any defense of Ellen here immediately hits a wall made of millions of dead bodies, most of them Iraqi and other Middle Eastern civilians and some of them suicide victims thanks to Bush's crusade against same-sex marriage.

What I want to bring attention to is the idea of class unity. The following tweet hit me in the gut like a beanbag shot at me by militarized police:

"The rich have class unity, do you?"

Ellen's class (and white) privilege protected her from the atrocities committed by George W. Bush. Imagine being a family member or friend of someone who died because of Bush, maybe also being an Ellen fan, and seeing that video. Imagine having your home and life destroyed by the Bush administration and having to see him comfy and safe at a sports game chatting it up with celebrities, living an amazing life without facing justice for what he did to you while you continue to suffer.

Heck, I have plenty of privilege myself, but what Bush did to the economy, having a hand in the Great Recession that changed the entire job market, effectively ending any semblance of job security for the vast majority of people, has absolutely had a major impact on my life and the lives of people I love. And he gets to be friends with Ellen? And Ellen can't manage to give a shit about how that might make so many of us feel and just not be friends with a guy who thinks she shouldn't have been allowed to marry her wife?

But here's the thing. Rich people stick together. Like the white woman who voted for Trump aligning themselves to white supremacy at the expense of their gender, rich people will band together. Even those who might seem decent have much more in common with their fellow rich people than they do to the rest of us. They have no clue what we deal with or how we have to feel on a daily basis due to financial stress and instability.

Then a Tumblr mutual of mine posted this:

Check out all these rich famous people who also apparently can't tell the different between tweezing preferences and war crimes.

"Kill em with kindness" Orlando, unless you can bring millions of people back to life and un-obliterate entire towns and villages and un-traumatize millions of queer people with kindness, shut the fuck up.

The point is that rich people make friends with rich people and they don't much care what each one has done. They defend each other because they see themselves in each other. They know they might be the next rich famous fuck in trouble for chatting it up with horrible people and so they unite behind a bullshit message that they call "kindness" but is actually immensely cruel.

And so many of us non-rich rush to defend these people because, why? They've been in movies or made music we like? Because they're attractive and visible? They don't know you. They don't care about you. They have class unity while so many regular people throw themselves into defending these people who don't need your defense because they have money. So many people putting energy into defending these people when who really need defending are the poor and the vulnerable. The kids still being born with birth defects in Iraq due to all the toxins caused by U.S. bombs need friends and defenders, not Bush, not Ellen.

Rich people don't care about you. Aside from a couple people who have so far appeared to be exceptions, they don't care about you, and even those exceptions don't need you.

Do you have class unity? Are you looking out for the people who really need it? Are you defending those who suffer because rich people are hoarding all the money for themselves?

Because the rich do.

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Gif of the Day

Dinner time for tiny neck here.

Feeling Good

Today I want to report that my efforts to be more social, go on more walks, and generally take care of my mental health are quickly showing positive results. I'm still having some anxiety around what to do with my leisure time, but this morning I thought about playing the Spiro the Dragon trilogy reboot and felt excitement rather than anxiety.

In general, I've been feeling better. Sometimes I've felt a bit overwhelmed with all the socializing, but I've pushed through and been okay. I'm really trying to not overdo it, but it is difficult because going slow like this also gives me anxiety.

I'm still not sure whether I'll be able to go back to any form of what used to be normal for me. Thinking about the rest of the week without any social plans just down made me feel a bit anxious. Sometimes I think I might end up filling my time up with stuff, if I can get used to it, because if that's what makes me feel best then why not?

I'm trying to go with the flow.

I read in that depression book that a study was done attempting to answer the simple question of "do people who consciously attempt to increase their happiness become happier?" Does trying to be happier work? What they found was that in the U.S., it doesn't work, but in other cultures, it does. They also found that in the U.S., people tend to pursue happiness by focusing on themselves and their own pleasure. In other areas of the world, people pursue happiness by helping others.

It threw me for a while as I wondered whether my current efforts to become happier would be useless or even counter-productive. I was also freaked out because previous efforts to get into activist organizing that involved going outside and interacting with people I didn't know were very difficult and stressful. But maybe it's more like when I thought I would reduce my stress by self-isolating and ended up with more stress and generally depressed.

I may not yet be at the point of being able to be a serious activist, but I do think socializing is helping, and I think that it won't be long before I feel good enough to take some concrete steps toward helping my community. Even if it's just picking up trash by myself or something.

But mostly, I want others to know that what I've been doing is helping me. You can improve your mental health, you can reduce your depression and anxiety, and being with other people is a big part of that. I'm so lucky to have amazing friends who have opened their arms and homes to me as I go through this. I look forward to spending time with them regularly, having a ton of fun, and building mutual relationships.

Also, I played Untitled Goose Game with said friends yesterday, and I can confirm that the slapping sounds of the goose feets alone are worth the $20.

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Gif of the Day

Run, man, run!

(No I do not have any idea what is happening here.)

On World Mental Health Day, Abolish Fucking Capitalism


You might think of me as a radical. And I probably am. And obviously I'm okay with that. But I'm a radical because of the way I see people suffering every day. And today I'm just talking about people I know and personally care about, not even the people who are so much worse off than those in my social circles. But also, let's talk about them.

World Mental Health Day is this Thursday. The other day I wrote an article for work about how U.S. suicide rates are the highest they've been since the Great Depression. I've blogged before about how suicidal ideation among the younger generations has become so common that it's basically a running joke on Tumblr and other online spaces. Anxiety and depression on some level are practically a given.

I know far too many people personally who have dealt with an ongoing struggle with suicidal ideation. And it is always related to the hurdles that have been dumped in front of us by our society. Hurdles that have made it seem and continue to make it seem impossible to reach a state of stability and personal satisfaction - things we were pretty much told were a guarantee as long as we "worked hard" and got a college degree.

Some of the people I know have gotten over the worst of the hurdles, but not without immense struggle and pain. Others I know are still staring down hurdles that seem insurmountable. It's always directly related to work and/or going to school to get better work but the student loans and the exhaustion that comes from holding just one full-time job if not more.

And I mean, in terms of myself, my work currently fulfills the "personal satisfaction" bit, I think, but stability? As a freelancer? That's not really a thing. I could lose any of my clients at any time for any reason, and a chunk of my income with them. I can try to save up as much money as I can but apparently I'm killing the economy by doing so, and with the expenses related to not having a lot of money, it's not easy. I'm far from any kind of comfort zone in respect to savings right now.

And it's hardly better for people with normal jobs. Even the supposedly progressive Washington State is an at-will state, which basically means you can be fired at any time for any reason as long as your employer doesn't explicitly say that they're firing you for an illegal reason in a way that can be documented so you can hand the proof over to the proper authorities. It happens to people all the time.

Why do people think suicide rates are so high? Social media and smart phones might have something to do with it, but I've also seen them become lifelines to actively suicidal people. You want to know the real reason so many of us want to die all the time?

No stability. Soul-crushing jobs. Constant financial stress. Abuse from employers and customers without any path to justice or protection. No way out. No hope for the future.

I see centrists offering up small changes that might help some a little in the short term but minimum wage increases aren't even keeping up with rising rents and costs of living. Reducing tuition costs doesn't help people already drowning in so much debt that any more feels impossible, especially knowing that even a Master's or higher degree doesn't guarantee a better paying job, or a job at all.

As far as I'm concerned, this era could easily be called another Great Depression.

This is why I'm a radical. Because we need radical change. The entire system needs to change because even if we can somehow make a mass number of reforms to make things tolerable to most people, there will still be people left who are trapped like this and the system will continue to shift back to how it is now, and worse. Capitalism will always fight to go in this awful direction because that is its nature.

I don't think people in more comfortable positions understand just how much so many people are struggling and suffering right now. I see it every day and it breaks my heart every day. If you really care about suicide rates, you have to abolish capitalism. Nobody should have to suffer like this.

Monday, October 7, 2019

Gif of the Day

Clean the pawsies.

Supreme Court About To Decide If Queers Can Be Fired For Queerness

Oh boy, it sure is fun to have a bunch of old people including at least two serial sexual predators deciding whether or not you have basic rights, like the right to not be fired because of who you love or what your gender happens to be.

The Supreme Court's Transgender Employment Discrimination Case Could Decide My Future Because I'm Trans

At the center of the case is Aimee Stephens, a trans woman who was fired from her job at a funeral home after coming out as trans. According to the funeral home's supporters in the Trump administration’s Department of Justice and at the anti-LGBTQ+ Alliance Defending Freedom, her employer officially says that she was fired for refusing to adhere to the company’s dress code for “male” employees — i.e., that she was fired because she would no longer be presenting as a man.

The ACLU is calling this "one of the most important days in LGBTQ legal history," and it will be decided by a court that has been grossly stacked in the GOP's favor after actual Skesis Mitch McConnell blocked any Obama Supreme Court nominee from even being considered after Scalia died and rapist baby Brett Kavanaugh was voted on after a pathetically rushed and inadequate investigation into the sexual assault allegations brought by Dr. Ford, all after former Justice Anthony Kennedy suddenly and mysteriously decided to retire.


Many LGBTQ+ celebrities and public figures have announced that they will be at the Supreme Court tomorrow to demonstrate for our rights. Unfortunately, courts are not supposed to be influenced by public opinion and no amount of queers on the court's steps will have any effect on the black holes in the chests of the conservative judges that exist where their hearts were supposed to.

I may be doing better emotionally but my faith in the U.S. government and legal system is still pretty much at zero.

Still, stranger things have happened that the Supreme Court, even a far-right one, ruling that you can't just fire the queers for being queer. If they don't, however, what say we all have the biggest, gayest party there ever was? And if some windows get smashed, that's just queers being queer. And if it should happen to notoriously homophobic companies, welp, what can you do?

Friday, October 4, 2019

Gif of the Day

I don't know why people saying "bees" as a question is so funny to me but it really, really is.

Jacob Wohl Clinches The 2020 Election For Elizabeth Warren: Unstoppable Sex Monster

Have you heard? Have you heard the good word?

This is, hands down, the funniest thing that has ever existed. You may have heard some mentions of some weird right-wing guy trying to start a sex scandal involving Elizabeth Warren. But let me tell you. This shit gets funnier the more details you learn.

A little background. Jacob Wohl has made a name for himself as the right's biggest fuckup of all time. Yes, bigger than Trump, bigger than Giuliani. He already had two failed attempts to pin sexual assault allegations on Robert Mueller and Pete Buttigieg under his belt. He is also the guy who was kicked off of Twitter because they caught him making sock puppet accounts to argue with.

Around the same time as his Twitter ban, he traveled to Minneapolis to "investigate" the racist as fuck conspiracy theory that Rep. Ilhan Omar married her brother. He claimed to have hired a ridiculous security contingent that appeared in none of his videos and tried to paint the city in Minnesota as some kind of lawless wasteland where he had to wear a bulletproof vest due to all the hitmen driving around. He then tried to present his "findings" at the Conservative Political Action Conference, but they wouldn't even let him in.

He then published a "documentary" on his little trip which contained footage of him filing a police report about death threats that came from a Twitter account that, you guessed it, was one of the fake sock puppet ones he made himself! Then he got sued by the guy whose photo he stole for the account.

I've been trying to make right-wingers look bad for 10+ years and but nothing I've written can hold a candle to what Jacob Wohl has done.

Okay, so, Elizabeth Warren. On Wednesday, Wohl and his loyal sidekick Jack Burkman sent out a "media alert" claiming to have "bombshell" evidence of an affair between the Senator, now the Democratic frontrunner, and a young Marine of age 24 or 25. This was allegedly when the Marine was a sex worker who I guess was found by Warren through a specific escort service.

Now, what with Wohl's, ahem, reputation, nobody was expecting this to be anything credible.

But nobody could have predicted how funny it could be.

Not only to Wohl and Burkman have a guy claiming to be this Marine, they are and have him saying that the two of them had wild BDSM-type sex, with Warren hitting the Marine with a cat o' nine tails and leaving scars on his back. In their sparsely populated "press conference," they also said that she had a sexual relationship with a woman at some point and fucked her with, and I am not exaggerating or joking in any way, a lime green strap-on dildo.

The video of the "press conference" is fucking breathtaking.

What's your favorite part? Wohl's inability to keep himself from laughing at his own made-up allegations? The hired security guard's repeatedly ignoring their commands to remove someone from the "crowd," if it can be called that? The guy at the end saying he's switching his vote from Bernie to Liz because "she fucks"? Or just the constant mocking laughter from the crowd?

Other details from people who were there are also hilarious:

Here's a photo of the whole crowd, by the way:

Meanwhile, Jack Burkman, who is still on Twitter, has issued this ultimatum to Liz that includes the name of the Marine, which is "Kelvin."

The comments are extremely worth looking through.

If there was any doubt in your mind that this entire thing is bullshit, not that it really matters as long as everyone was consenting and considering the shit we all know Trump has done, this clown brigade has already been caught in an obvious lie. One of the scars that Kelvin said was given to him by Liz? Welp:

"Hit my back with a chain trying to take down a swing," he wrote. And yes, that is a tattoo from that Vin Diesel movie "XXX." So clearly this guy has no shame.

But the much funnier bit of evidence that this is all bullshit is the fact that reporters contacted the escort service they're claiming Kelvin worked for and company representative said that Kelvin wasn't good enough to work there.


All of this is so clearly going to boost Warren's name recognition and poll numbers that I find myself wondering if Wohl and Burkman aren't some kind of deep cover liberal agents determined to get her elected in 2020. I mean. The jokes just keep coming.

Elizabeth Warren even got a pretty funny joke referencing this whole circus act and them calling her a "cougar."

Honestly, how can I support any other candidate now? Elizabeth Warren 2020. She fucks.

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Gif of the Day

Today's gif is courtesy of some random awful conservative on Facebook spreading lies about overdose victims and Narcan, which is a drug that halts overdoses and is a nasal spray that anyone can easily deploy and also you can get it for cheap at any pharmacy and carry it with you in case someone around you suffers an overdose! Thank you, horrible lady.

Feels update

I often look back on my time in college as an ideal for how life should be. I honestly think that my happiness during that time contributes to my current depression in a way and has contributed to discontent for all the years since graduation. I can never go back to that time but there are some key aspects of that period that clue me in to what makes me happy. First of all, I had a very solid safety net. At the time, my parents were doing well financially and I knew I could go to them if I needed help. Another huge thing was that I had so much hope for the future.

Being the naive liberal I was then, I'd thought that Obama's election to the presidency meant things had really changed. I didn't think they would ever recover, I thought the people of this country would pull away from them over how completely ridiculous they became over the election of a Black man. Aside from all that wrongness, I thought the economy would recover and go back to the way it was in the 90's, and I thought I had a rich and interesting future ahead of me that would not involve existential threats to the survival of the human species. I never would have guessed that we'd have anything close to the bullshit we have today.

Lack of hope for the future is a huge aspect of depression, but it's hard to have much. I'm not in complete despair, but it's hard to imagine that things won't get worse before they get better, and I'm afraid they never will get better. I don't look upon the future with complete despair anymore, but I look upon it with fear.

And that probably has a lot to do with why I'm so restless and anxious lately. I have been doing better, I've felt tastes of joy and dang, October is the best month. I love early fall and when I think of snuggling up in a soft blanket with some hot cocoa and watching Halloween Wars, I feel good. When I actually do that, I still feel this needling in the back of my brain that tells me I should be playing some kind of video game at the same time or else I'm not really enjoying myself. Still can't shake that, but I'm trying to do more of one recreational activity at a time.

I've also been doing a good job with reaching out and socializing more. And I'm pretty sure it's a good thing that I've been feeling so much, even if some of the feelings are uncomfortable, like anxiety and anger at Jeremy Clarkson. I'm happy with my decision to blog once per weekday unless I'm not feeling it, like I wasn't on Monday. I even had a moment today where I really, truly felt like being around people = good.

But it does suck knowing that it's going to be a serious uphill battle to ever feel as happy as I did in college because my safety net is much thinner and because my hope for the future is very weak. Without a sense of security or real hope, I don't know that I'll ever be able to gain a feeling of contentment and peace that's anything like what I had before. And it sucks because I know that we could give hope and security to everyone on this planet if we really wanted to and invested in that instead of death machines and feeding the endless money void that is the mega-rich.

I will also never stop resenting the fact that I have no choice but to work to make someone else money for a fraction of the profit my labor produces. Even homelessness becomes less of an option as the people of this country turn on those who have almost nothing.

I'm taking things day by day but I'm afraid my happiness level can only max out at "meh" with the way the world is right now. Part of me hopes something just absolutely ridiculous goes down that will at least bring all of us struggling people together in revolution because that's the only way I see things changing enough to avert serious disaster.

Sometimes I think about the current average human life expectancy and just feel exhausted. Nearly 50 more years? That is so many.

And yet at the same time, I feel this constant nagging sense of urgency as though my time is short. I'm not sure the human brain was ready to deal with the level of bullshit we've managed to heap upon it.

Oh well. I think I'll go play some Overwatch. Because I'm actually writing this at 8:30 pm two days ago. Scheduling blog posts ahead of time counts.

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Gif of the Day

Accurate representation of entitled rich white men getting their asses handed to them daily.

World's Most Entitled White Man Calls Greta Thunberg "Spoilt"

You might not know this about me, but I am in fact a fan of the British car show "Top Gear," which is now no more for reasons very relevant to this post, as well as the current Amazon car show with the same hosts, "The Grand Tour." I don't actually have any interest in cars at all other than their ability to get me where I need to go, but I do find the antics of the three hosts to be quite hilarious.

This is unfortunate because all of the hosts are middle-aged white men with the kind of entitlement you'd expect from men of that type who are also rich and famous. In particular, Jeremy Clarkson is and has been a MASSIVE ASSHOLE who makes me ashamed to enjoy his shows, even if I do view it via totally definitely legal means that also happen to not funnel any money or ratings to said shows. Cough.

Anyway, as though Clarkson didn't already have a massive list of reasons to think him a completely shitty human being (seriously the "controversies" section of his Wikipedia page is LONG), he decided to pen an entire article for The Sun (already a reason to facepalm) that just directly attacks 16-year-old Greta Thunberg for not being nice to adults who have maybe doomed her entire future.

“Many thousands of people who you had the temerity to blame this week are trying to do exactly what you want. So be a good girl, shut up and let them get on with it. And no. You cannot stay out past ten. And you cannot go out in a skirt that short.”

Lots of horrible adults have attacked Thunberg, but it takes a special kind of asshole to insert gross misogyny and sexualization of a minor into his attacks on a 16-year-old.

I already wrote on this for work but I of course had to hold back on what I really wanted to say, though I did get to include a bunch of tweets pointing out that this was the guy who was fired from Top Gear and got the show cancelled because he PUNCHED A STAFF MEMBER who told him that the hotel chef had gone home and he couldn't have steak. But I can say whatever I want on my blog, so here it is.

Fuck you, Jeremy Clarkson, you nasty, bigoted, awful, entitled man who is a fetus in maturity level compared to Greta Thunberg. You are an irrelevant old man and the only reason The Sun let you write a column is because your unearned privilege allowed you to make a TV show that honestly probably contributed to climate change far more than you would have if it had never existed, and also because it's a shitty tabloid that no one respects. Your show needs to be illegal and you probably know this deep down. You also probably know that no one likes you as a person anymore because you have proven yourself to be a complete baby who makes the world a worse place wherever you go and that's why you're so bitter that you feel the need to shit all over a teenage girl who makes your balls shrivel up when she talks. I hope somebody gives you the ass kicking you so sorely deserve.

Oh, also, his own daughter took him to task for attacking a child AND for being a misogynist, so there's that.

I'd say this was rock bottom for you, Jeremy, but I'll reserve that in the hope someone does kick your ass for being a racist, misogynistic, ableist, homophobic, transphobic piece of shit.

I hope Amazon fires him but they obviously suck too so I'm not gonna hold my breath.