Friday, July 5, 2019

Don't Pay Off Other People's Debts After They Die

Now that everyone else is freaking out over the concentration camps, and I'm hoping that's not just gonna die down and become nothing again, but for now I think I really need to focus on other things for this blog before I send myself right off the edge.

So here's something good I can do that might actually help someone. I can spread some helpful advice that is essentially that if any company or bank or whatever calls you up and tries to get you to pay off the debt of a family member who has died, tell them to go fuck themselves.

This post appeared on Facebook way back in 2010 but for some reason was screenshotted and is being spread on Tumblr. Here's the text version:

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.
This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.  
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.  
Here is the exchange :  
Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been'
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
Citibank: 'Excuse me?'
Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'
Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )

After they get the fax :
Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.'
(What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?' Citibank: 'That might help..'
Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???'  
Priceless!!

This has been followed by other, similar stories on Tumblr along with the very handy advice that it's illegal for any company to try and collect on debts from people the debt doesn't belong to. If you didn't co-sign for it, it's not your problem. If you ever do get a call like this, I recommend letting the poor sap who has to work as a debt collector for some big company that you have a message for the company itself and/or its CEO/upper management, and then unleash all the grief and anger you have from having a death in the family on them.

Because fuck capitalists.

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