This is your semi-regular post of something nice because this blog is just a constant depression march. If you've been wondering, yes, I have been dealing with an extended existential crisis, as have many young people. The most recent climate report managed to convince me on a deep level that there really is a significant chance that the human species won't make it past the next hundred or so years, which has been difficult to cope with. I feel like I need to utterly reorganize my priorities and my way of thinking in terms of the future. I no longer feel like I can go on assuming that my work will support women and other marginalized people of the future, because I'm not convinced that future exists.
So yeah look, it's like this cat is arguing with a crow!
I never want to stop writing this blog. It's been harder lately because most days I'm now busy in the morning with paying work. Nights are spent maybe too often getting high and trying to figure out how to move forward with my life. I still hope for a future when I can maybe have a blog or feminist website owned and run by me that can make me enough money to live. I don't know if that will ever happen. I wonder if society will start to collapse in 2050 or whether, like all the climate reports before it, that's too optimistic. I wonder what it will look like leading up to that collapse and when the final descent will begin.
There's a recession coming, and it's going to be a bad one. I wonder if we'll ever recover from it.
This really was supposed to be a positive post but I can't get this shit off the brain. I hope whoever reads this doesn't worry about me too much. If societal collapse is coming, I intend to witness it. I'm not even necessarily depressed, just very emotional in a way I've never been before. In a way, as a person who has always had trouble accessing her emotions, it's nice. But it's also scary and sad and sometimes overwhelming.
Are there climate apocalypse support groups yet? Because there should be.
Part of me thinks I should be spending a lot more time enjoying the beauty of the world before runaway global warming renders most of it inhabitable. Things like cats arguing with crows like they're an old married couple. Crows and ravens are amazing animals. Pretty sure the bird in the video is a crow. Doesn't really matter. They're both intelligent, they teach each other, they play, and they fuck with other animals for fun. And of course, cats.
I've also been thinking about my capacity to connect with other humans, which I've always felt was lacking. Climate news has intensified my desire to break through these walls I've build up and really connect deeply with others. This is my way of saying if you ever want to reach out and just pour your heart out to me, do it. As long as you'll grant me the same liberty. I don't have any more time for being afraid that people will think I'm weird or "oversharing." We're all gonna die, tell me how you feel.
And have a nice weekend.