[TRIGGER WARNING: EXTREME PESSIMISM]
I'm a little loopy right now because I just had three cavities fixed this morning and my entire chin and lower lip and most of my tongue are completely numb. But I just found out that The Establishment is officially ending. The Establishment has been my favorite site for social justice-oriented culture articles and creative pieces, and it's where all of my own favorite pieces have been published. The South Park article. The one about laziness.
It makes me so sad. It makes me feel pessimistic about the chances of making anything out of this blog, even if I do pull the trigger on re-creating it into Revolutionary Feminism like I said I was going to over a year ago but that costs money. It makes me feel like no online publication run by women, including a number of amazing women of color, could last in the world as it is now.
In their farewell post, they talk about how they tried everything to make enough money to keep going. They didn't try ads, because they're awesome and ethical people. But if they can't survive without ads, what decent website could?
Making money on the internet is such a depressing affair. I'm currently writing for a website that makes money via ads and Facebook monetization, which means that I have to watch my language in ways that I do not like. I can't attack men or white people as a whole, because Facebook considers these to be protected groups in spite of the fact that they are already protected by privilege. Sometimes I end up writing about things I would rather ignore or posting under click bait-y headlines because we fucking need the clicks.
Meanwhile, publications that are neutral or centrist or even actually a little left-leaning keep trying to make me pay to access them after a paltry number of free article views while far-right publications like Breitbart and Fox News remain totally free to access.
The Notre Dame is on fire? Well, so is the entire internet, where most of us now go for our information and to find perspectives on issues that matter to us.
As usual, I don't know how to fix this other than abolishing capitalism. I'm afraid that this is an omen of things to come once the inevitable Trump recession hits. I'm just waiting for one or both of my main clients to drop me because they can't afford to pay me anymore. And let's not forget how things will go to hell once the real impact of climate change hits.
Do we really want to have to live under this shadow of catastrophe all the time? Because that's inevitable under capitalism. I just want to live in a world where I don't have to live with the constant background noise of anxiety about financial collapse, where I can count on having a place to live and access to food and basic healthcare. That should not be too much to ask in 2019.
I'm so tired of this.