Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Fuck Tucker, Tucker Sucks

[TRIGGER WARNING: CHILD RAPE, CHILD MARRIAGE, CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE]

I am actually sorry about the George Carlin reference. But every time I hear about Tucker Carlson, I think about that one bit he did about names like Tucker where he specifically says "fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks."

There are a lot of reasons Tucker should never have been allowed on TV, except I guess on the news being arrested in a child trafficking sting, but since we're letting all kinds of horrible people even into the fucking White House now, I at least thought maybe the general public would have rejected a dude with such a goofy fucking name.

Anyway, you've probably heard that 10 years ago, Tucker went on some shock jock radio show and managed to shock the shock jocks by defending Warren Jeffs. I had the displeasure of learning all about Warren Jeffs for the article I had to write on this shit for my actual job (fuck), and here's the rundown.

He was a Christian extremist in Utah who was such a fan of marrying underage girls to grown men that he kept doing it after being arrested for it and after landing on the FBI Top Most Wanted list. He had two underage "wives" himself, one who was 12. He was accused by two of his nephews of anal rape. One of the victims was 5 or 6 at the time of the rape, and the other killed himself shortly after making the accusation. Also Jeffs definitely did that, I mean I say "accused" to point out that he wasn't convicted for that but the man was such a raging pedophile that he kept marrying off underage girls even after the FBI was like "fuck this dude, we're gonna fuck him up."

I've also heard that there is literally audio of Jeffs assaulting an underage girl but my psyche can only take so much, you know?

So yeah, Tucker went on the fucking radio show and defended Jeffs, saying that he wasn't a child rapist, he was just "weird" and had an unusual "lifestyle" that people found "creepy."

No, Tucker. He was a rapist and everyone hates him but you.

I'm going to reiterate here my belief that anyone putting that much effort into defending rapists has a very personal reason for doing it. I mean, sure, Fox News better fire him, and I've heard they have to have an emergency meeting tomorrow to beg their advertisers not to punt them the fuck into the dumpster, but also dear FBI. Do you take requests?

I feel the need to write this blog post not because this shit isn't being covered elsewhere, but because the way I see it covered and the way people are talking about it disturbs me to my core. People are focusing on the least offensive parts of the leaked audio. We already knew that Tucker was a giant gross misogynistic pimple and we all assumed he called women cunts on a daily. It's not okay and he should be fired for just that, but can we focus on the child rape part? The human trafficking? The child brides? Hello?

Even when they do focus on that, again news media is using "sexual assault" to describe something that is RAPE. These men married to the underage girls definitely raped them. You think they kept it to something more minor? No, men like that want to marry underage girls because they're pedophiles looking for a way out of their guilt.

But apparently, if you have the phrase "child rape" in your headline, Facebook is probably going to come after you and possibly demonetize your posts. Oh, now it makes sense.

FUCK CAPITALISM. CAPITALISM SUCKS.

Capitalism is making people gloss over the actual rape of children. Fan-fucking-tastic. Fuck Facebook, fuck capitalism, fire Tucker out of a cannon into the sun.

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