Thursday, January 17, 2019

Helpful Advice For Men: Stop Talking


I know a lot of men are feeling really attacked right now and to be clear, I don't actually care. But maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't get yourselves into so much trouble if you just, you know, shhhhhhh.

In the space of 24 hours, I've learned that the interim president of Michigan State University said that the victims of the guy who sexually abused a ridiculous number of underage girls were enjoying the spotlight.

"You’ve got people, they are hanging on and this has been … there are a lot of people who are touched by this, survivors who haven’t been in the spotlight," Engler said. "In some ways they have been able to deal with this better than the ones who’ve been in the spotlight who are still enjoying that moment at times, you know, the awards and recognition. And it’s ending. It’s almost done.”

One question. What awards have the victims received? I mean, maybe there should be an award dedicated to victims who come forward, because they are braver than any Marine. But this is textbook "privilege white dude running his mouth about something he has zero understanding of" because uhhhhh nobody enjoys that spotlight, fucko. Nobody likes to have their personal trauma put on display for the entire world to dissect.

Thankfully, this asshole has already resigned.

But that's not all! I got this gem in an email today:

Social Security official: Married working mothers hurt society, condoms rob women of “remarkable chemicals” in semen

Before joining President Donald Trump's administration, right-wing commentator Robert W. Patterson argued against contraceptives because “condom use robs” women of the “remarkable chemicals” in semen; said married women in the workplace have undermined society; and suggested that homosexuality is a mental disorder and sexual orientation can be forcibly changed.

Things must be super fucked up for this guy to have slipped through the cracks. And like, there has been some research suggesting that there are beneficial chemicals in semen, but could you be any more creepy right now? Plus like uh, there are so many other contraceptives besides condoms. I'm in a long term monogamous relationship with a cis man so we don't use condoms but I take my birth control pill every damn day.

But also, if semen is so good for you, why deny that to men? Let me come in and on each other and enjoy those remarkable jizz chemicals. Stop oppressing men, Robert.

I doubt this guy will resign but I do hope he gets sent some of that shampoo with semen in it, or at least some gummy dicks and glitter bombs.

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