Friday, October 5, 2018

Benchmarks of Post-Reality America, Part 23905739238578943

I've just got a collection of weirdness and beautiful shit that I need to share that are making my already tenuous connection to stable reality seem much looser, so here you go.

First, I woke up to find this video circulating:

Now I'm caught between the terror of feeling like there really is a god and desperately trying to figure out if this was some kind of brilliantly staged attempt to distract people or get them to take Trump less seriously, or otherwise quell the currently enraged masses ahead of the final Kavanagh vote. The latter is also terrifying because I don't like the idea that Trump or his puppetmasters are that smart. But seriously, it's just so perfect. The length of the toilet paper. The wafting. The way it detaches right at the top of the stairs and lays there in view of the lingering camera. Can we verify that this wasn't a computer-generated piece of toilet paper? It's too perfect. My brain refuses to believe that this could have just happened. It's either that or divine intervention.

I also woke up to an email from Google letting me know that one of my blog posts has been removed from Google+ for violating the User Content and Conduct Policy. The listed reason was "Harassment, Bullying, and Threats."

click to enlarge

I don't actually ever use my G+ account, but because Blogger is owned by Google, my posts are automatically published there. This email does not give any indication as to what comment was removed other than a random string of letters and numbers that are no help at all. But neither of my posts from yesterday are up on my account, and I'm wondering if it was the Mark Judge being a Gamergater post. Part of me desperately hopes that Mark has been frantically googling his own name and somehow stumbled across my blog and reported me. Either that or it's some pathetic Gamergate holdout googling "Gamergate" and pouring through the results daily to report anyone who says anything bad about it in a fevered state of total hypocrisy.

Or it could be some old post. It's hard to say.

Finally, because I hate job searching and being in a state of flux, I tweeted HIRE ME on my personal/professional Twitter account today and got this:

I replied with a simple "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

First of all, I'm already all over better job search sites, Monster. Second, there's something so dystopian about a shitty job search company reaching out to me on Twitter via some intern that searches Twitter for the phrase "hire me" all day (or has some robot program doing that) because I shouted my desperation to the universe.

That's my day so far. How are you?

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