You know how there's like a mandatory article at least once a month speculating about why Millennials are so depressed and inevitably blaming cell phones and/or social media? Well I've been doing my own thinking, considering how nice it would be to live in like an isolated village somewhere where the world is fantastic as long as there's peace and prosperity in your one little corner of the universe because you don't know what's going on in the rest of the world.
Right now I'm feeling like it's not social media, but simply the internet that's the cause of a lot of people's discontent even when they're living relatively decent lives. Lately I've been having pretty intense feelings of "what am I doing fucking around with any of this when there is so much suffering going on in the world." I keep questioning why I don't just give up this unfulfilling capitalist existence and run off to some part of the world that can really use help, and just dedicate myself to supporting the residents there. Why don't I get student loans to go to medical school, join Doctors Without Borders, and never come back to the U.S. so they can't bother me to pay back the loans?
If I didn't know about all this suffering, wouldn't I be happier?
This isn't a new idea at all. It's just "ignorance is bliss." And I also could be completely wrong. Sometimes it feels like I'll find ways to be unhappy.
Then again, there was a time when I was happy. When I was in college, and I didn't have to worry about money, and I didn't have to work that hard, and often I could choose the subjects I studied, and I was just learning and wasn't nearly as aware of how fucked up the world is. I was really, truly happy then.
What I'm saying is that if we had universal basic income or just full communism, I would be both spending most of my time helping the people who need it most and I wouldn't have to worry about money so maybe I'd be happy.
I just want to smash capitalism so bad. And I'm rambling about it. These are thoughts I'm writing at 12:10 AM that I'll schedule for later because I desperately need to get them out, or at least need them to be somewhere besides just my head. Maybe I'll sleep better tonight.
Maybe I'll keep dreaming about being on the vacation I can't afford and then some weird stressful shit happens.