Pennsylvania’s Blue Mountain School District has equipped every classroom with a five-gallon bucket of river stones as a defense in the event of an active shooter.
“If an armed intruder attempts to gain entrance to any of our classrooms, they will face a classroom full of students armed with rocks, and they will be stoned,” district superintendent David Helsel told the state House Education Committee last week.
Now, before I do this, keep in mind that absurdist, Dada-esque humor tends to crop up as a coping mechanism during intensely horrific periods of history.
In other words, please don't hate me for this.
Mass shooter: *enters Pennsylvania school classroom*
Mass shooter: *looks down*