Thursday, January 18, 2018

Guys, It's Time for Some Hard Truths

[TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, RAPE CULTURE]

Is all this discussion about sexual assault, rape culture, #MeToo, etc., making you uncomfortable? Well, buckle the fuck up, because it's time we had some real talk. There are some things you need to hear and need to accept if we want rape culture to end.

Think you're a good dude, do you? Read on.

If you were with a person in a sexual manner and they expressed discomfort, hesitation, or reluctance, and you kept going? You committed sexual assault. Whether you knew at the time that such a thing is sexual assault does not matter.

If you have ever pressured someone into sexual contact, whether they were hesitant and first and then said yes after you pressured them, or they said nothing and you kept going and they let you, or non-verbally indicated that they did not want something and you stopped, only to try again a minute later, you have been an active participant in rape culture, up to and including being a rapist. If the person you did that to does not feel assaulted, traumatized, or violated from that encounter, consider yourself fucking lucky. But it still doesn't make you innocent.

This applies to women who have pressured or coerced someone into sexual contact at any level, too. But this is mostly an issue of men doing this to women, non-binary people, or other men.

Right now, a lot of men need to face facts that they have been active participants in and perpetuators of rape culture. That they may have seriously hurt multiple people in their lives. They need to think on it, examine their feelings around it, consider the harm they did, accept their culpability, and vow not to make the same mistake again.

If you still don't think what you did was wrong, then I will rest with the belief that your sins will catch up with you. And get the fuck off my blog.

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