Friday, September 22, 2017

Headline of the Century

I'm not kidding, I keep checking the URL over and over to make sure this is really HuffPo and not a trick.

‘Neo-Nazi’ Man Mauled By Lion At Barcelona Zoo

This happened in 2014, but is being spread around now I guess because of relevancy. Lmao.

A man - reported to be a neo-Nazi demonstrator - has been seriously injured after climbing into lion enclosure at Barcelona Zoo. 
Dressed in an army uniform, he scaled a security fence and stood in front of a lioness. 
He was promptly dragged into a tunnel and mauled.

I'm really hoping this is an omen.

The article does not explain what the fuck this guy was doing, but I'm going to assume that it was  some kind of fragile masculinity thing, like he was standing there and went "this lion is FEMALE? I'll show her" and then "promptly" gets mauled. I just love the use of the word "promptly." No time wasted there.

The article also mentions that they lioness was not trying to eat him but just wanted to "play with him." I prefer to believe that the lioness took one look at him and was like "is that a fucking swastika? Oh c'mere you little shit." But they get to play the innocent, of course, because they're lions.

The moral of the story is that lions hate nazis. Someone draw up an emblem of a lion mauling a guy with the "good night alt-right" slogan.

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