Thursday, July 6, 2017

Not Sorry?

Since making this blog after finally settling on the name Not Sorry Feminism, I've heard it argued that women shouldn't have to learn how not to apologize. We're always the ones having to do all the work while men are never expected to change. Men should learn to apologize more (or at all). Men should soften themselves. Men should become more like women and society should stop expecting women to become more like men. We should be aiming for a world that is more apologetic, more considerate, more concerned about people's feelings.

Yes. I agree. I wish I had thought of that.

But also.... why not both?

Honestly, women apologize to the point of apologizing for our existence. And while I'm all for making men do the emotional work for once (they need the practice), I don't think anyone should have to apologize for existing. Not even men. I might joke about that sometimes, or if I haven't yet maybe I will now because it sounds like a funny joke, but no. Apologizing for your very existence is a miserable thing to do to yourself. Don't do that.

Plus, refusing to apologize for simple things like taking up space or speaking feels good. It feels really good. It's an acknowledgement that you do deserve to exist and that you as a person are just as valid as any dude and you deserve to take up space and be heard.

Don't stop apologizing entirely. Continue apologizing when you hurt people, as you inevitably will throughout your life, especially if you have privilege over people of some kind, which you almost certainly do. But do stop apologizing for being.

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