Thursday, December 22, 2016


Okay, someone has definitely broken the seventh seal or fucked with the timeline because now we're about to have vampires in the White House.

Before I post the headline of the article, I want to warn you that it's intensely ridiculous. Okay.

Peter Thiel Isn't the First to Think Young People's Blood Will Make Him Immortal

Filed under "Unoriginal."

I think the Daily Beast is trying to be funny. I have a hard time keeping track of all the different Daily publications but at the very least, I can tell you think isn't satire. But I can't tell you whether TDB was intentionally trying to normalize the most ridiculous shit ever with that headline or not. Because seriously, like, I've talked about news media normalizing Trump and his parade of horrific white supremacists and unqualified buffoons and billionaires who want to tear down every department they've been put in charge of. But this headline.

"It's totally not weird that Donald Trump's new tech adviser wants to drink you blood. He's not even the first person ever to try to become a vampire. No biggie."

Apparently, great people like the Ancient Greeks and Leonardo da Vinci also experimented with using the blood of the youth to achieve immortality. And those guys were totally awesome. So even though the president-elect of the U.S.'s tech adviser believes in some kind of vampire alchemy, it's cool. And it's probably totally scientific. And not something out of a B horror movie.

Wish real hard and I'll make a Vampires in the White House movie poster.

In his interview Thiel acknowledged that the lack of interest in parabiosis in the medical community has often been due to society’s discomfort with the practice. It’s a cultural anxiety that Thiel would like to see displaced, but it is one that is rooted in power and exploitation as well as mere squeamishness. As the Inc article observed, it’s disquieting to imagine a business model for parabiosis on a grand scale. Ambrosia can obtain blood from blood-banks because it is conducting a trial, but how and from whom would the blood supply come if parabiosis became more common? You have to worry that it would come not from altruistic teenagers, but rather from the poor, the socially disenfranchised, and people living in developing countries. 

Wow, our dystopian future is really taking shape. First fascism, then the collapse of the U.S., then the rich farmer us poorsies for blood extraction to keep them living and ruling for all of eternity.

Quick, someone make a movie before it becomes real!

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