Thursday, April 28, 2016

Recommended Reading

[TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE CULTURE, SEXUAL COERCION]

Clementine Ford, one of my favorite persons on Facebook/from Australia, wrote a great piece on "unwanted sex." This is distinct from rape, including that resulting from coercion. It discusses the gross phenomenon of the guilt and need to cradle men's feelings instilled into women from infancy and how it leads us to have sex we don't actually want.

Choosing unwanted sex over an awkward conversation.

This is Ford's personal story but I know that many women have had similar experiences. This problem is definitely related to that of sexual coercion, a form of rape, even if this "unwanted sex" wouldn't be described by most as rape.

There is a spectrum when it comes to choice, and the fear of a man becoming violent or even just creating a really uncomfortable situation can be coercive. And honestly, you can never know when a dude will become violent, no matter how nice he initially seems.

As Ford points out, we need to continue to work on the societal norms that tell women and girls that what they want is secondary to men's desires. Otherwise, there will continue to be these gross situations where women have sex that they don't really want. And any decent man wouldn't want sex with a woman who was only doing so out of pity or to avoid awkwardness.

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