[TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, RAPE, ABUSE]
For my fellow feminists, this is recommended bookmarking. If you're anything like me and have a tendency to argue with anti-feminists online, you're very familiar with the false claim that just as many women abuse men as men abuse women. And yes, there are studies that suggest this, but an actual domestic violence researcher flatly points out why these studies suck:
She recounts some of her research that showed that when men talked about women’s violence against men, some cited abuse as not having a hot meal on the table, not having the children bathed before bed, or women spending money on gambling or shopping. At the more severe end of the spectrum, they nominated verbal and emotional violence as abuse. Then, a tiny minority documented physical abuse, and an even smaller minority named sexual abuse.
“Women were talking about being run over, being drugged and raped at knifepoint, having their children dangled over high rise balconies till they did as they were told and of course you get verbal and emotional violence,” says McInnes. “When we were talking about physical violence against men, one of the worst examples was that she banged his head with the cupboard door – which isn’t good – but the sheer level of fear, harm and terror that women talked about was simply not present in what the men’s data showed.”
And women are supposed to be the weaker sex? Women are the ones who complain all the time? Men think that women not catering to their every need is abuse. I've had a man accuse me of harassment and threaten to have me arrested because I pointed out that he threatened to kill me. Not even slightly exaggerating.
Studies that anti-feminists site, if they're not just completely misinterpreted, consistently fail to account for any difference in severity of abuse and fail to account for the fact that most of the time, when a woman hits a man, it's in self-defense or part of a fight wherein both partners hit each other. Just like how in the vast majority of cases of a woman murdering her husband or partner, she did so because he was abusing her and/or her children.
This piece by Michael Roddan explains all this and more. It's a rather long article but full of anti-feminist-crushing goodness. Enjoy.