Thursday, June 25, 2015

Male "Allies" Disappoint Once Again


Last night on Twitter, self-described sexist Brad Wardell was getting a lot of well-deserved criticism for being a self-described sexist.

Apparently, in 2010, a woman left Wardell's company after he sent her a nasty reply to an email she sent him requesting that he stop being a gross dudebro harasser. Actually, she was rather polite in the email, which you can read in entirety on Kotaku. Wardell is now calling this email "snotty," which is infantilizing and pretty misogynistic.

In his reply email, he flat-out refuses to stop making misogynistic, gross jokes and says, "I am an inappropriate, sexist, vulgar, and embarrassing person and I'm not inclined to change my behavior. If this is a problem, you will need to find another job."

Then: "I'm not some manager or coworker of yours. I own the company. It, and your job here, exist to suit my purposes, not vice versa."

Full email:

Click to Enlarge

This all is gross and horrible and illegal on so many levels. I could go on for a very long time about how awful this guy is and the entire case around it, but that's not what this post is for. I just want it to be clear that Wardell admitted to making sexist jokes, admitted to being a sexist, and then refuse to stop. So, he's terrible. Full stop. Okay.

Then this happened.

Ian Miles Cheong is a guy who has been very vocal in his support of women against GamerGate assholes. He seemed in every respect to be a person who frequently engaged in ally work for women, and I'd come to view him as someone I could count on. I don't know if he ever claimed to be a male ally or a feminist, but he certainly acted like it.

Now suddenly he's indirectly defending Wardell, admitted and proud sexist (and total GamerGater), by saying "dogpiling" the guy isn't a "good look."

So basically, coming together to call out an admitted sexist and demonstrate that his behavior will not be tolerated and go without consequences is unattractive.

How many times have women been told that standing up for themselves is unattractive? It's right up there with "you're getting too emotional" and "you'll never land a husband with that attitude."

I was stunned, deeply disappointed, and frankly, hurt.

When I called Ian out, I got this:


Apparently I was dead wrong about Ian. Not only is he willing to engage in misogynistic tropes, he defends an admitted sexist from the apparently unforgivable crime of "dogpiling," which is I guess when some mystery number of people call out someone on Twitter at the same time. According to Ian, "a dozen" is too many. I guess we should be considerate of the admitted and proud sexist and sexual harasser and only call him out one at a time so that his mentions don't get too overwhelmed with criticism. That could be mildly inconvenient or make him feel bad.

I straight up wrote a blog post defending Ian when GamerGaters were accusing him of being a Nazi. I can't help but kind of regret it, because I'm fucking spiteful like that, even though accusing anyone who is clearly not a Nazi of being a Nazi is reprehensible as shit. I guess right now I'm just that hurt and disappointed. But women everywhere should know that Ian Miles Cheong is not a male ally. Don't count on him and I wouldn't recommend following him. Especially because right now he's calling the removal of all games that contain the Confederate flag from Amazon "censorship" when he's not fucking black and therefore should be keeping his fucking mouth shut.

Men are constantly disappointing. Sigh.


Noah Way said...

"I'm gonna shit talk this guy and ignore evidence the courts deemed
admissible, the eventual decision of the court, and then get mad when
people rightly correct me because men shouldn't be able to disagree with
stronk independynt wymyn."
Gold medal worthy mental gymnastics.

Lindsey Weedston said...

The suit was dropped, yo. No decision. Do you even know what's going on or?

Ori Klein said...

Mutually dropped (she sued, he counter-sued) with a lengthy apology letter from Alexandria admitting all fault.
Was erm.

Lindsey Weedston said...

Um no. I read the letter and she never admitted fault. Did you read it? It wasn't "lengthy" either. Do any of you know what's going on?

Ori Klein said...

"Male allies"
You feminists are quite amusing in your psychosis and derivative terminology.
I don't refer to my friends as "[gender] allys", rather as friends.
Seriously, seek professional aid.

And watch some of the talks from Ajahn Brahmavamso Mahathera, learn to be happy and find your peace in life.

Lindsey Weedston said...

No. You are banned for blatant ableism, bye!

JackDandy said...

He does have a point, though.
Plugging your ears won't just change reality, whether you like it or not.

Lindsey Weedston said...

He has no point. At all.

Noah Way said...

Yeah. the accuser issued a retraction didn't they? Why would they do so if the basis for the lawsuit was legitimate? Wouldn't that retraction mean bringing it up at this point is purely for the smear factor?

Lindsey Weedston said...

No, she did not issue a retraction. Get your facts straight.

Mooseplaining Max said...

Even if she did, there are a million reasons she might have dropped the suit and apologized. Most likely money cause lawsuits are expensive and Brad does very well financially, much better than his employees. So he could have easily dragged it out through appeals and such until she couldn't reasonably afford to pursue it anymore. Or perhaps she could have one but her net gain against the legal fees and months of dealing with him would not have made it worthwhile.

The other reason I could think of (note: this is all hypothetical conjecture) is these industries are very small worlds, and to keep her opportunities open she decided it was too risky to be on his or any other Stardock employees' bad side.

TLDR: All that dropping the lawsuit and apologizing proves is that she dropped the lawsuit and apologized. Everything else is pure conjecture.

Mooseplaining Max said...

Addendum: The fact that Stardock issued a countersuit certainly supports my conjecture that it was a financially motivated decision. Certainly more plausable than the employee deciding independently that she was wrong in every way and issuing an apology email as penance. Mr. Wardell has however proved to be quite a bully, so I find this conjecture highly unlikely.