Monday, April 6, 2015

This is How You Ally

This video has been around for a while, and I finally watched it. It made me cry.

In One Video, These Students Remind Us What's Really at the Root of Rape Culture

And yeah, I realize that women have been saying all of this for eons and ignored, and that we shouldn't have to get a man to say it just so that other men will listen. And I shouldn't praise men for exhibiting basic levels of decency.

But it's hard not to get emotional when I see a man saying these things. Telling other men not to assault and owning his male privilege and explaining that it is men who are attacking women, not some anonymous invisible force. I've spent countless hours of my life trying to explain this shit to men and watching them not get it, and not get it, and not get it. Having to deal with them getting defensive and then dealing with that by going on the offensive, accusing me of being a man hater or being "delusional" or "overreacting" or wanting to be a victim. I've gotten this from random faceless dudes online, from friends of friends, from long-term friends I thought I could trust, and from family members.

I get that shit no matter how much effort I put into being nice, into catering to these men's feelings and assuring them that it's not their fault they were raised to think and act this way. I try and I try and I've seen so little results.

So when I see a guy like this who actually gets it, who actually really gets it, I get emotional. It reminds me that it is possible for men to get it, that there is hope. I know I shouldn't give cookies but I admit that I love this guy. He's so incredibly rare.

I also love the fact that there are so many people of color in this video and so few white people. That always makes something better.

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