Friday, January 30, 2015

WHAT THE SHIT

[TRIGGER WARNING: POLICE BRUTALITY]

Okay, I had to trace this back to CBS to make sure it was legit and it is. I mean, not that it was initially that surprising, because it's the NYPD, but still, which direction is New York going on this thing? I don't even know. But anyway.

The not so shocking part:

Commissioner Bratton Unveils Plans For New High-Tech Anti-Terror Police Unit

So in spite of people everywhere being like "can we not have a police force that looks and acts like the military," the NYPD is going to have a specially trained force of 350 cops who will walk around in extra thick body armor carrying long rifles and machine guns. Makes you think that the next logical step is an army of heavily armed robots and police dogs every barking at you from behind chain link fences, but it's not super surprising.

But the quotes from the police commissioner made me lose it a little.

The unit of 350 cops will be specially trained in high-tech weaponry to deal with protests, “lone wolf” attacks and evolving threats posed by terrorists, CBS2’s Marcia Kramer reported.

To deal with prOTESTS??

The Strategic Response Group, Bratton said, will be dedicated to “disorder control and counterterrorism protection capabilities.” 

DISORDER CONTROL?


Image of JD from Scrubs with barely contained terror on his face and the caption "[screams internally]"


So to the NYPD commissioner, protests are the same as terrorism. Though we haven't had an actual terrorist attack in New York that the police actually care about since 9/11. Maybe we've had domestic terrorist attacks on mosques or abortion clinics, but who cares about Muslims and people who need abortions, right?

And just, "disorder control." How many dystopian novels featuring a big scary oppressive-as-shit government use that phrase? Because I think it's a lot.

BUT IT'S NOT OVER.

“It is designed for dealing with events like our recent protests, or incidents like Mumbai or what just happened in Paris,” the commissioner said.

Animated gif of Chandler Bing backing away while mouthing "WOW"


WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED AT ANY PROTESTS THAT HAVE WARRANTED A RESPONSE LIKE THE ONES NECESSARY IN MUMBAI OR PARIS??

Nobody died in those protests! The only people hurt were those beaten to shit by police! The guy that killed those two NYDP cops wasn't a part of any protest, he was just mad at cops! 

Bratton said Mayor de Blasio was on board, and he expected the City Council to be as well. He also said he thinks this will help improve relationships between cops and local residents.

Oh yeah, nothing makes people warm up to the police than having them carry larger and more deadly weapons while decked out in some serious body armor. How about we make them wear gas masks all the time? Friendly happy gas masks!

And the mayor is on board?

I don't even know anymore.

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