Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Marysville

[TRIGGER WARNING: MASS SHOOTINGS, GUN VIOLENCE, MISOGYNISTIC VIOLENCE]

Marysville is a half hour from where I live. I have cousins in Marysville with high school kids.

They say that the closer something like this is to home, the more it effects you. And yet, as soon as I knew my cousins were okay, I really didn't feel anything. Same with the rest of school shootings these days.

Maybe I'm saying this so I won't be accused of saying this because I'm "emotional" about it. The most disturbing thing about this is how little emotion I feel about it.

There's something different about this case. Maybe you noticed. This kid was not some outcast. There is no way that the shooting could be blamed on mental illness. He was happy. He was popular. He was not some lone [insert ableist slur here] with a gun.

He was jealous because a girl he wanted to date was going out with his cousin. It's a normal and human emotion. He shot them both, along with others. Three are dead, including him.

Days before this, a man cuts a woman's throat open in New York because she said no to a date.

In May of this year, a college kid goes on a shooting spree because women don't randomly go up to him and give him sex.

Women are killed for saying no. Women are killed for saying nothing. Women are killed when they don't even know they've done something that someone else considers wrong.

Women cannot win.

That's the terrifying thing about it. When harassed on the street, or asked out on a date randomly, what's the best course of action? Is it better to say no? Is it better to ignore them? Is it better to be nice to them, go to lunch with them when invited?

We don't know. It's different every time. Any reaction from us could end in violence. That uncertainty is fucking terrifying.

In the face of that, statistics don't mean shit, do they?

2 comments:

Kelly Nicola said...

That's so true. I was reading the comments on daily kos about the street harassment video that recently came out. While they were actually having an intelligent conversion about the topic, which is saying something, sadly, they still disagree on what a women's reaction should be to street harassment. And as I was reading, I was wondering what the correct response would be, ignore them, talk back, act offensive in return, smile and play along with it out of fear ( that's what I've always done ). But you're right, there is no correct response because, it depends. It depends on the situation, and the man who is harassing you. Which is why it's so scary.

Lindsey Weedston said...

Right! It's like how if you put a rat in a maze and each path leads to an electric shock, it will just freeze up in terror. Not to compare women to rats. Just a psych nerd moment.